


Soldier's Heart

by blissfullylostinarabbithole



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-15
Updated: 2017-09-13
Packaged: 2018-12-02 15:17:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11512059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blissfullylostinarabbithole/pseuds/blissfullylostinarabbithole
Summary: Something in the back of Bucky’s mind urged him to return to Hydra, but he couldn’t remember what for.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I seriously shouldn’t be starting a new series… this one’s gonna be a short one, though. Like, maybe 3 parts. Bold is in meant to be in Russian (I wanted to do it properly, but google translate is a joke so I scrapped that).

It had been six months since Steve found Bucky. Six months of extensive therapy before he was cleared for a trial mission.

“Are you sure you’re up for this, Buck?” Steve asked.

“Yeah, I think I am. Just make sure you take… you know…”

“I know.” Steve responded gravely.

The mission was an easy one. It was a small research base located near an abandoned village. They were to steal the research, and shut it down. There were only a handful of Hydra agents, and their intel turned up no evidence of prisoners.

“Wilson’s not coming, is he?” Bucky asked when he saw him standing by the jet next to Vision and the twins.

“Not unless Tony’s decided to stay. What’s going on, Sam?” he called out.

“Can’t a guy come wish his best friends luck before their mission?” he smirked, bringing a groan out of Bucky.

Steve chuckled and gave him a pat on the shoulder. “Relax, he’ll be out of your hair for a couple of days.”

“Now if only we could leave Stark behind…” he mused wistfully.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

It was supposed to be an easy mission, but there were hiccups right from the start.

They landed the jet in a small clearing of wildflowers in the woods neighboring the village. Steve got out first and scoped the immediate area. It was meant to be Bucky’s mission, and they were only there for backup, or to handle the Soldier should he make an appearance, but Steve wouldn’t put his friend in unnecessary danger.

“All clear.” Steve turned back to the jet. “Ready?”

Bucky took a deep breath in an attempt to calm his nerves. “As I’ll ever be.” The blond nodded and stepped aside, letting him take point.

Natasha filed out after him, followed by the twins. Tony and Vision immediately took to the skies. Bucky’s steps slowed as he looked around the clearing, then faltered as he took a few shaky breaths.

“Barnes?” Natasha stood in front of him. “You’re fine. Deep breaths,” she instructed patiently.

“I’m alright. I’m good.” He bypassed her and headed toward the facility.

It was easier once they got inside. There were only five scientists, and three guards. Bucky collected all the files and hard drives, but he stopped everyone before they could destroy what was left.

“What is it?” Wanda grew concerned at his sudden change in demeanor.

“I…I need to look for hostages,” he said more to himself than the team.

“Buck, the intel said there weren’t any. The blueprints didn’t even show cells or anything.”

Bucky took off, checking behind shelves and stomping different areas of the floor that look like they might contain a secret door. “You guys look outside. We need to be positive no one’s left.”

“Wanda and I will look,” Pietro assured before running them outside.

“I will assist them, Sergeant,” he heard Vision through his comm.

“FRIDAY, can you run a scan on the building and look for anything we missed? Namely people.”

The longer they searched, the more agitated Bucky grew. No one found anything. When FRIDAY’s scans turned up nothing, Bucky asked her to check again. Tony placated him, but the scans again came up empty.

“We’ve searched every square inch of this place, Barnes.” Natasha’s voice was eerily calm. “There’s no one here.”

“Ok.” Bucky felt dejected, and didn’t understand why. “Let’s finish and get back to the jet then.”

The walk back was tense. Bucky was lost in his thoughts. He eliminated the targets, confiscated the research, and destroyed the facility; all without the Soldier rearing his ugly head. By all accounts, the mission was a success. Why wasn’t he pleased? Why did everything feel so wrong?

Steve was proud of his oldest friend, but he saw it wasn’t the time to congratulate him. He looked over to Natasha, who he noticed hadn’t taken her eyes off Bucky. She caught the movement and met his eyes, giving him a shrug.

Again, Bucky stopped as he took in his surroundings in the clearing. He looked back at Steve with a puzzled look on his face.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked, quickly going to his friend’s side.

He shook his head. “I don’t…” He looked at the ground around his feet and slowly kneeled, both he and Steve ignoring the rest of the team looking on. They all watched silently as Bucky reached a shaky hand to brush the petals with his fingers. His face contorted to one of anguish. “Steve…” he began to hyperventilate. “Con-containment. Now!”

Steve went to grab Bucky’s arm, but Pietro beat him to him. He picked him up in a fireman’s hold and ran him to the jet, quickly dropping him into a special chair and restraining him.

Tony took off as soon as Steve and Natasha were inside. He set the coordinates for the compound and switched on the autopilot. By the time he reached Bucky’s thrashing body, he was suited up again.

“What happened?” he asked Steve, who stood by with the tranquilizer he and Bruce created. He was about to answer when the thrashing stopped suddenly.

Bucky looked around at all of them apprehensively, but when no one tried to attack, despite his being secured, he relaxed slightly and stared ahead.

“Buck?” Steve called softly. There was no response.

“ **Soldier?** ” he whipped his head toward Natasha. “ **We’re going home. Just relax.** ” Without a word, or any other indication that he’d understood, Bucky returned to staring at the space before him. He stayed that way until they reached the compound.

*** * * * * * * * * * * * ***

It hurt Steve to have to sedate him. He had been doing better, and even carried out his mission well enough until the end. When they reached the hangar, something set the Soldier off. He began thrashing and yelling in Russian. To everyone’s horror, one of his arm restraints was coming loose, so Steve had no choice but to jab the giant needle into his friend’s neck.

“What happened?” Steve didn’t bother to hide the pain he felt.

“He was saying ‘flowers’.” Pietro answered. “‘Where are my flowers?’ but it was wrong.”

“Piet, the ones he dropped in the jet…” Pietro nodded and zipped off. When he returned, Wanda put them in a vase and placed them in Bucky’s containment chamber where he’d see them when he came to.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

_The Asset carried out his mission and returned to the helicopter. It had been long since he’d given his handlers any trouble. He would accept his mission, carry it out swiftly, and return after a while without a fuss. While they realized they weren’t in full control of him, they were quick to appease him whenever the Heart was concerned. The Heart made the Asset docile in a way the threat of another torture session never did. He would do anything as long as the promise of having time with her hung over his head._

_He returned to the base, the handlers and the medical team waiting as usual, but he ignored them. They knew the drill. Or at least, they should have. The new doctor didn’t get the memo, and approached him with a cloth to clean off the blood and muck. He didn’t stop when the doctor stood before him. He pulled his metal arm back and swatted the doctor, sending him flying and causing him to break his arm in the fall._

_The man cradled his fractured limb and watched bewildered when the crowd parted as a girl ran toward him._

“ **Soldier!** ”  _her mellifluous voice called. When she reached him, he swept her up into his arms and buried his face in her neck, bringing soft giggles from her. He found her lips with his and kissed her deeply, as if he’d never get the chance to again. When he put her down, he took her hand in one, and offered her the flowers he’d picked with the other._

_The man continued to watch him as his arm was getting cast. Inside the infirmary, the mission report was given and his wounds were tended to, all with the girl by his side. Once he was released, it was time to shower. He’d done exceptionally well on the mission, so the girl was allowed to join him._

_She led him to the room she’d been designated while he completed his mission. She took a few of the flowers and pressed them into the back pages of a book she had on her bedside table, and set the rest on the bed. They sat, facing each other, talking about mundane things: what she ate, what ridiculous thing an agent said, etc. All the while laughing and adorning each other’s hair with the remaining flowers._

_After dinner, they took turns reading to each other, being careful to replace the flowers from previous missions in between the pages they finished. They took each other in; their voices, their scent, the feel of their skin._

“ **I love you, little flower.** ”

“ **I love you, my soldier.** ”

_They made every minute count. In the morning, they would go back into cryo until he was needed for the next mission._

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

But things only got worse when he woke. The Soldier yelled, punched the reinforced walls, threw everything in the chamber. Everything except the vase.

“What is he talking about?” Bruce asked. Everyone looked to Natasha, who was approaching the chamber slowly.

“Not ‘what’, who.” She turned to Bucky, “ **Who is flower?** ”

He looked at her like she was stupid. “ **I don’t have time for games.** ”

“ **Who is she?** ” she asked more forcefully.

“ **I completed my mission!** ” he rounded on her.

“ **She’s not here.** ”

“ **Let me go to her.** ” No one in the room needed to understand to catch the warning in his tone.

She considered her next words carefully. “ **No. We can bring her to you.** ”

That seemed to calm him a bit.

“Nat, what’s going on?” Steve asked. He was desperate for answers, for anything that would help him get Bucky back.

“It’s a girl. He’s calling for a girl called Flower.”

* * *

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finding Flower becomes a team effort, and the Soldier has no choice but to put his trust in them.

“Which Bucky am I talking to?” Steve started every conversation that way since Bucky decided to stay in the containment chamber.

“It’s me, Steve,” he replied, smiling at his friend’s relief. “Anything?”

“Not yet.” He hated that he couldn’t do anything more to ease his worry. “We checked all the places he told us,” he said, referring to the Soldier. “Do you have anything that could help us?”

Bucky sighed and ran both his hands through his hair. “No. They’d have moved her as soon as they realized I was gone, anyway.”

“Who is she?” Steve took a seat opposite the wall next to Bucky’s bed.

He looked lost. “I don’t know. I just remember after every mission, she was there, waiting for me.”

“Do you remember anything else?”

The tiniest smile graced Bucky’s lips. “She always had dirty feet.” He smiled a little more at Steve’s soft chuckle. “I don’t know why, but she did.”

“I can see how important she is to you. To both of you.”

“We’re the same person, Steve…”

“No, you’re not,” he said with a conviction that left no room for arguing.

Bucky sighed and shook his head. “It doesn’t make sense… why haven’t they used her to try and draw me out?”

“Have you given any thought… that maybe they didn’t keep her around?” Steve asked warily.

“No.” Natasha walked into the room, carrying Bucky’s lunch. “It’s not like they don’t know Barnes is here. They’d have sent her to him in pieces.”

“Romanoff!” Steve warned.

“She’s right. She’s still alive.” Bucky looked to him, desperation evident in his eyes. “You have to find her.”

“We will, Buck. I promise,” he assured him.

Steve found it was a promise that was getting harder and harder to keep. As time passed, and facility after facility was emptied without a trace of Bucky’s Flower, all of them were starting to lose hope. Steve was more disturbed by their failure than anyone, not only because he felt he was letting his friend down, but because the Soldier’s appearances were becoming more frequent. He was also becoming less compliant, demanding to be let out to find her himself. Bucky wasn’t much different. He wanted to go on their missions to find her, but everyone kept reminding him that since his memories of her started returning, he was losing his control over the Soldier.

He always scolded himself when he was feeling guilty. While they turned up empty handed where the girl was concerned, they still managed to free a lot of prisoners from the facilities they shut down. So seeing the missions as failed made Steve feel even worse. He knew Bucky tried to be understanding, but he couldn’t forget the brief look of disappointment that flashed on his face whenever he reported back to him alone.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

They had no reason to think this facility would be any different from the previous ones. The size was similar, as was the intel. Only Tony, Clint, and Natasha had gone. Once they got inside, they saw how wrong they were in thinking they wouldn’t be facing more than couple dozen agents.

“They’ve got something big here. There’s no way the this place can sustain this many agents for long,” Clint said when all enemies were downed.

“Agreed.” Natasha began searching through files. “Spread out and find what needed this much protection.”

Clint took the top floors, while Tony headed to the basement.

Not long later, Tony rang in their ears. “Uh, guys? You might wanna get down here.”

“There’s more?” Natasha asked, pulling her weapon back out.

“No.”

“Hostages?”

“Just one… of the frozen variety.”

They met Tony and began the process to free the girl in the chamber, taking aim as they watched her adjust to being defrosted.

She looked up at the three people before her, her brow slightly furrowed. She didn’t recognize them, but when they didn’t make a move, she tore her eyes from them and began looking around the room. Her dazed look quickly turned to one of distress.

“ **Where’s my soldier?** ” her soft voice cracked.

Natasha’s eyes widened in shock. “Shit,” she whispered.

“What? Why are we swearing?” Tony grew slightly alarmed.

“ **Flower?** ”

“ **Yes?** ”

“We found her…” she said breathlessly, tucking her weapon into its holster.

“Wait, Barnes’ girl? This is her?” Clint lowered his weapon, hardly believing the person they’d been searching for for months was finally in front of them.

“Shouldn’t we be restraining her?”

“Seriously?” Natasha was unimpressed. “Look at her. She’s afraid.”

“We don’t know what she’s capable of.”

“No, but we do know what Barnes can do, and he may not be happy if she shows up in cuffs,” Clint warned.

“ **Where’s my soldier?** ” she asked a little more steadily.

“What’s she want?” Tony didn’t lower his arm, still not convinced she wasn’t a danger.

“She’s asking for Barnes.” She held her hand out to the girl. “ **He’s waiting for you.** ”

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Steve was training in the gym when his phone rang. He was about to hit ‘ignore’ when he saw Natasha’s name on the screen. He tore off his wrappings straightaway and answered. “Nat, what’s wrong.”

_“Steve, we think we found her. I’m going to send a picture. See if you can get Barnes to confirm it’s her.”_

“Oh my god,” he breathed a sigh of relief.

_“I wouldn’t start celebrating yet, old man. We need a positive I.D. first, then we need to survive the trip back.”_

“Just send the picture.” He hung up, running down to Bucky’s containment area. When he burst into the room, he knew it was the Soldier from the way he stood, ready for a fight. Steve ignored it and approach the glass, pressing his phone against it. “Is this her?”

His shoulders relaxed, and he quickly closed the distance. Steve had his answer when he saw the Soldier’s features soften. He brought his hand up to the glass, as if hoping he could feel her through it. He nodded in response to Steve, never taking his eyes off the phone.

Steve slowly removed the phone, not wanting to anger the other man, but nothing happened. He called Natasha back and confirmed the girl they had was indeed Bucky’s Flower. “They’re bringing her back. They should be here by tonight,” he informed him before turning to leave.

“Thank you,” he said in a voice that clearly wasn’t Bucky’s.

Steve faced the man and smiled. “Thank us when she’s back in your arms, Soldier.”

A few hours passed before Natasha called back. She’d tried asking Flower who she was and why they had her, but she insisted she didn’t know, only asking again about Bucky. In the end, Natasha had to resort to searching the files she copied before leaving.

“Y/N?” she asked, watching Flower’s head tilt in curiosity.

“You’ve been at it for hours and that’s all you got?” Tony groaned.

She shoved the laptop toward him, telling him he was more than welcome to try before turning her attention back to Flower. “ **Does that sound familiar?** ”

Her face scrunched in distaste. “ **I… think so?** ”

Though the girl hadn’t asked, Natasha began to tell her how they’d been looking for her on the Soldier’s behalf. She explained they were friends of his, and ensured that you were being taken somewhere safe.

“Uh, you might want to get Cap on the phone…” Tony trialed off.

Back at the compound, Steve called everyone into the conference room.

“We have a slight problem,” Steve said. He put the phone on speaker as everyone filed in. “Go on, Natasha.”

_“Her name is Y/N L/N, and she’s been in Hydra’s custody since 1973.”_

Everyone looked at each other in shock.

_“The files are heavily encrypted and the one’s we’ve read don’t say much other than she was used to subdue the Asset. Given his behavior regarding her, her power over him extended to the emotional.”_

“Does she have abilities?” Sam asked. “She must to have survived this long.”

_“No clue. Again, there isn’t much and she’s not remembering anything except Barnes. For some reason they’re more secretive about her than they were about the Soldier.”_

“Where did she come from?”

_“That’s for you to find. We’ll be there in a few hours and we can keep trying to crack this.”_

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

“Connecticut!” Sam called as he walked into the common room, catching everyone’s attention. “She was born to the L/N family in 1951, second daughter and the youngest of five children. Her parents reported her missing in 1964.” He handed out copies of a ‘missing’ poster the police department still had on file. “She went out for ice cream, and didn’t come home. She was never found.”

“Til now,” Wanda commented.

“Til now.”

“So they just took this girl off the street?” Bruce asked. “That doesn’t make sense. I mean, there had to be something about her for them to take her and keep her files as bare as possible.”

Wanda rubbed her temples, frustrated with the lack of information. “Nat said they had her since ’73. That’s nine years unaccounted for.”

Bruce shook his head, “She also said they’re being more careful about her. Maybe ’73 is just what’s on record.”

“What of her family?” Pietro looked on the young girl’s photo with sadness. “Were they affiliated in any way?”

“Nope. Her dad fought in the war while her mom worked as a seamstress and raised her oldest brother and sister. When her dad returned, two more brothers came along before she did. Aside from her disappearance, all seemed pretty ordinary. At least, all her siblings went on to live normal lives.”

“Are any still alive?” Wanda asked.

“Not sure.”

“Shouldn’t we try to contact them?” Steve finally spoke. “If not to find out if there was anything different about her, then to tell them she was found?”

“Yeah,” Sam raised a brow at him. “and show up with a girl in her 20s? How do you think that’s gonna go?”

“I agree,” Bruce cut in before Steve could respond. “She disappeared when she was 13, so they may not even recognize her. Nevermind that they’d probably be expecting someone in their 60s.”

“We could still question them, couldn’t we? We don’t even have to say we have a lead or anything, just that we’re looking to open some old cases.” When no one disagreed, he turned back to Sam. “Find them.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Everyone noticed the way Y/N froze as they were exiting onto the hangar, and were immediately on high alert.

“Calm down,” Natasha calmly but firmly ordered. “ **What’s wrong?** ”

“ **You said my soldier would be here,** ” she accused.

“ **He is. He’s inside.** ” Turning back to the people waiting, she asked, “What the hell are all you doing here?”

“She needs a medical exam, Agent.” Fury stressed. “And for the record, I never approved such a retrieval. Since she’s already here, you go by protocol from here on out.”

“How long will it be until she’s cleared?” Steve asked, arms crossed and jaw clenched.

“If she cooperates, it shouldn’t be more than a few days.”

“I promised Bucky he’d be with her by the end of the day.”

“Well, Captain, then you can tell him you were mistaken. Find whatever’s going on with that girl,” he ordered before storming out.

Y/N’s eyes widened when she saw the size of the needle the approaching orderly was carrying.

“I need you to hold her,” he said as she took a step back.

“No,” both Clint and Natasha said. Tony stepped away from her.

The orderly looked to Steve, who only shook his head. The other agents began to approach, pausing when the girl whispered something to Natasha.

“What’s going on?” one of the agents demanded.

“She’s afraid for you.” Natasha smiled at their confused expressions. “She said he’s going to kill you all.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

_Her cries were tearing him apart. He would face anything, endure anything, to keep her safe. The noises were drowned out by his own shouts as he struggled to free himself of his restraints. It was his fault; he wouldn’t cooperate, so they wanted to punish him by erasing him from her mind and doing who knows what else. A piercing scream threw him into a white hot rage. His body gave one final tug, snapping his bindings._

_Everyone in the room turned from the thrashing girl as the door flew off its hinges, and scrambled when they saw murder in the Asset’s eyes. One by one, he snapped their necks, smashed their heads against walls, or beat them beyond recognition._

_When all he could hear were her soft whimpers, he began to make soothing sounds as he approached. Gingerly removing her from the table, he hummed the song she’d been dancing to when he found her in an attempt to calm her. He pulled her to the floor and cradled her, begging her forgiveness and promising anyone that harmed her would never live to do so again._

_From then on, every bruise, stumble, even a harsh word, someone answered for it. Whoever it was would just disappear, only to be found when others started noticing the smell of decay. It wasn’t long until word got out. People watched their tone when addressing her, stopped fighting back during training, and trainers quit calling her in altogether._

_Separation became his form of punishment. After each reunion, he studied her carefully to ensure no one had been rough with her, even if she began getting harder to hurt and could heal almost as quickly as he could._

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

“ **Soldier!** ”

Her voice snapped him from his memory and he stood rooted on the spot. His eyes flickered from her to the people surrounding her, wondering if they would let her go to him as promised, or if they would begin to make demands.

“Back against the wall,” Natasha ordered. Steve shot her a look and she added, “Please.”

He backed up as far as could, eyes no longer leaving his Flower. Clint opened the door to the chamber, and she looked around at them, unsure if she could move forward.

“It’s ok.” Steve smiled encouragingly, and tilted his head toward the Soldier. “Go on.”

With their blessing, she ran toward him and launched herself into his arms. They kissed passionately, causing the others to avert their eyes.

“They do know we can see them, right?” Tony asked, gagging at their moans.

The Soldier put her down and immediately started to look her over for injuries.

“I’m ok,” she whispered, not wanting the redhead to hear. “They put me in cryo alone, but I’m not hurt.”

“I’m sorry.” He pulled her into hug and buried his face in her neck, inhaling the scent he dearly missed and humming the tune from his memory.

“Guys?” Steve called apologetically. “We’re going to give you a couple of days to catch up, but after that, we’re gonna need you to try to remember why she was there.”

The Soldier gave him a curt nod. “Thank you.”

As they were leaving, Tony stopped to address them. “Remember there are cameras in there. Don’t do anything you wouldn’t want others seeing.”

“Don’t worry, little flower,” he released a low, throaty chuckle when she began looking around. “ **There’s no camera in the shower.** ”

* * *

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky grows concerned as his memories creep back. Answers only bring more questions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, Bold is in meant to be in Russian (I wanted to do it properly, but google translate is a joke so I scrapped that).

“‘ _Have you seen her all in gold?_ ’” Tony sang under his breath as he worked in the lab.

“Tony,” Bruce sighed.

“‘ _Like a queen in days of old_ ’”

“Tony…”

“ _‘She shoots colours all around_

_Like a sunset going down_

_Have you seen a lady fair-’_ ”

“TONY!” Bruce shouted, finally getting the other man’s attention. “You’ve been singing that non stop.”

Before he could respond, FRIDAY announced that they needed to meet the others in the common room.

“What’s going on?” Bruce asked upon entering.

“It’s Y/N,” Steve replied gravely.

“Is she ok?” Pietro had grown more concerned over her well being since finding out how young she was when she disappeared.

“She’s fine,” he assured. “But they’ve remembered something. She’s been enhanced. They don’t know why they took her, but they gave her the same serum they gave Bucky.”

Natasha sighed. “Well, that explains how she’s here, but we still need the why.”

“Exactly. How’re you coming on those files?” he asked Tony.

“I’m working on it. There are hundreds, each with their own set of challenges and I have yet to find another one of hers.”

“Wait up,” Sam interrupted. “She’s enhanced? Has she been trained? Can the chamber hold both of them?”

“She’s not trained. They didn’t say why.”

“I think I know,” Natasha replied. “When we landed and the medics wanted to take her, she told me he’ll kill anyone that touches her. Maybe they left her alone to not incur his wrath.”

“And that leads us back to the question of why they’d even take her in the first place,” Sam groaned.

“And what we’re going to do with her now that she’s here.” Everyone turned to find Fury emerging from the elevator. “I thought I told you I wanted her examined. You’d have known she was enhanced days ago.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

_Music rang in the air as he stalked toward his target. His support team looked on as he wove his way around, unnoticed despite not blending in as well as he should have. As he closed the distance, he began to hesitate. His feet felt heavier with every step he took, his mind screaming at him to leave before it was too late._

_He paused, shaking his head softly in an attempt to rid himself of the turmoil. He caught sight of his target in the distance and halted, watching as she moved to the beat. Something inside him knew it was losing battle, but it was as if he was on a track, unable to stray anymore. Once he was close enough to touch her, he shakily reached for his knife, freezing when she turned. Her eyes locked onto his, and he knew there was no turning back. He’d failed his mission._

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

He was gently shaken awake, her low whispers tickling his ear. He pulled her close and nuzzled her.  **“They wanted me to kill you,”**  his voice trembled.

She chuckled softly, running her fingers through his hair.  **“Why are you upset, my love? Obviously you didn’t hurt me.”**  She felt him relax in her arms, and she remembered he was always one to blame himself for things beyond his control. **“We’re together again. That’s what matters.”**

**“I have to tell Steve…”**

Her hand paused, bringing a small whimper from him.  **“You still haven’t told me who he is.”**

 **“He was my friend,”**  he explained.  **“Before they turned me into the soldier.”**

**“Was? Is that why we’re in a… box?”**

Bucky began to laugh, and his mood visibly lifted. “You’re cute when you don’t know the right word.” He kissed her tenderly and touched his forehead to hers. “We’re here because I’d been losing control while they looked for you.”

“That’s done,” she reassured, resuming her comforting motion. “I’m here now.”

They both lay on the bed, staring into each other’s eyes. He was overcome by the complete trust and adoration in hers, and wondered if she could see the same in his.

“Can I ask a favor?” She gave him a soft kiss in response. “I don’t want to be the soldier ever again,” his quiet voice was a little shaky. “Can you call me Bucky? Or James, if you like that better…”

“What do you like,” she asked, taking his metal hand into her free one and interlocking their fingers.

“Bucky,” he sighed. “What about you? Y/N’s a pretty name.”

She shook her head, and right away Bucky sensed the revulsion her body exuded. “I don’t know why, but it makes me… tense.” She met his gaze again, and all her discomfort melted away. “Flower feels right. Can I just keep that name?”

“He held her chin gently and leaned in for a kiss. “Of course.”

“How are you guys doing?” Steve inquired. “Security said you asked for me.”

“Oh. No, but I was going to.” He sat up on the bed and pulled Y/N onto his lap, resting his chin on her shoulder.

After telling him what he’d remembered of the mission, Steve watched as he nervously trailed a finger along her thigh. She was calm, but apart from a reserved smile when he greeted them, didn’t acknowledge him.

“Has he returned?” Steve asked, knowing Bucky knew exactly to whom he referred.

“No.” He gave the girl in his lap an affectionate squeeze, earning him a kiss on the cheek.

“Ok.” Steve approached the door and began to punch the buttons, smiling at them when it opened. “I’m guessing she’ll be staying in your room?”

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Bucky was sent on another trial mission, but this time, the twins stayed behind with Y/N. She watched in awe as Pietro sped around her, and Wanda made things float and projected thoughts to her. They were equally impressed when she lifted Pietro on her back without strain, and even moreso when she instructed Wanda to climb on his back. She carried them both around without breaking a sweat. When FRIDAY announced the others were returning, she nearly dropped them in her excitement. Wanda followed close behind her as she bolted toward the hangar, bare feet slapping on the floor, ready to receive her soldier as she always had.

He stepped off the plane, grinning widely. He was an Avenger now. The others hung back, watching in amusement as Y/N almost tackled him. He lifted her and spun her around, not bothering to put her down before kissing her.

“Were you alright here?” he asked once he lowered her.

“Yes.” She took his hand in hers and began to lead him away. “I like it when you’re with me better, though.”

His eyes crinkled in the manner she found adorable when he smiled. “Well, I’m here now.” He offered her the flowers he had made the rest of the team wait for while he picked, and he felt he was going to melt when she beamed. Though he knew no one at the compound would hurt her, he still glanced her over out of habit, and began to laugh. “Steve! What’d I tell ya?” He pointed to the mud splashes and bits of grass sticking to her toes. “Dirty feet!”

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

At breakfast, everyone but Vision were nearly in tears. For Steve and Wanda, the precious sight that was the former Winter Soldier and his beloved with wildflowers in their hair moved them deeply. For the rest, it was from suppressed laughter.

 **“Are you embarrassed?”**  Flower asked, hearing the snickers of his teammates.

He shook his head.  **“I love it. Just ignore them.”**

“What the hell?” Fury exclaimed as he stepped into the kitchen. “Nevermind. Has she been examined yet?”

Y/N gasped at the words, and Bucky went rigid.

“Not yet,” Steve replied, eyes not leaving his friend. “When she’s ready, we’ll send her results.”

“I asked for them when she first arrived.”

“And I’m telling you you’ll have them when she’s ready,” Steve asserted. “So if that’ll be all, Director-”

“No. I came to speak to Y/N, actually.”

“Flower,” Pietro corrected as Bucky pulled her onto his lap.

Fury nodded and took the seat directly across from them, folding his hands in front of him. “Miss Flower, a pleasure to see you again.” He watched Bucky wrap a protective arm around her middle, and continued when neither replied. “It’s my understanding that you have the same condition as Mr. Barnes here, but no training.”

“No,” Bucky growled.

Fury raised a brow at him. “I haven’t made my proposal.”

“She’s not going to fight.”

“She would be a valuable addition to the team.”

“I said no!” he roared, slamming his fist through the table.

 **“Calm down,”** she quietly pleaded, stroking his chest.  **“You don’t want him to come out.”**

Bucky took deep breaths in an attempt to settle down. Fury observed everything as it played out; how she was the only one who didn’t flinch at his outburst, the gentle way in which he handled her, and the way her touch pacified him. He’d been advised against approaching her so soon after being reunited with Barnes, and it seemed like he’d made the trip for nothing.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

“So, I finally got some of the L/N’s to talk to me,” Natasha announced, making the room go quiet.

“What did you learn?” Wanda asked, taking the seat closest to her.

“Nothing definitive, but I believe she might be a mutant. We won’t know for sure until we get her results.”

“A mutation would explain why Hydra wanted her, but not why they’d keep her hidden.” Tony started passing out drinks, sensing they may need them. “What did her family say?”

Natasha sighed, “Well, they said that their parents, along with the youngest son, were adamant that she was kidnapped.”

Bruce raised a brow at that. “And the others?”

“Their first inkling was that she ran away. Apparently, she had something of a rebellious nature much like her two oldest brothers, and their parents even considered sending her to boarding school. Her sister and third brother never so much as put a toe out of line.”

“A runaway?” Steve’s brow furrowed as he recalled the police files. “Why wasn’t that in the police report?”

“Because, nothing was missing from her room. If you plan on never going back, you’d at least take a change of clothes or something of sentimental value. The girl literally took nothing except an old book of fairy tales that she always carried everywhere.”

“Then why did they still think she ran away?” Sam asked.

“She’d been growing distant, getting in trouble at school, arguing with her family… it went on for a couple of years, and none of them knew why. If she is a mutant, though, I’d say it was around this time her abilities manifested. They all denied having seen or even suspected anything of the sort, though her sister did kindly tell me she wouldn’t be surprised if Y/N left because she was a freak.”

“That’s nice,” Wanda scoffed.

The room fell into an uncomfortable silence, promptly broken by soft humming.

“Enough with the song, Tony!” Bruce groaned.

“Blame Frosty. He’s the one that got it stuck in my head putting his precious Flower to sleep.”

“He sings her to sleep?” Everyone ignored the slight crack in Steve’s voice.

“Hums. Doubt he knows the words. Shame; it’s a good song. Shame you missed out on the 60s Cap, you’d have… you would… Oh my god.” Tony’s eyes began to glaze over.

“What is it?” Bruce knew the look well, and readied himself for the brilliance or lunacy that was about to spill from his friend’s mouth.

“Oh. My. God.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I’m a genius.” He refocused on the people around him, ignoring their groans. “Hydra didn’t take her. Not the day she disappeared, anyway.”

“What do you mean?” asked Pietro.

“Think about it, guys. It was the sixties, she was at odds with her family, Barnes calling her Flower-”

“And bringing her flowers for her hair,” Natasha finished for him.

“Wait, so she what? Ran off with hippies?” Clint asked incredulously.

He smiled smugly. “That’s exactly what I’m saying.”

Natasha nodded in agreement. “Makes sense why he won’t let her fight. Whether he realizes or not, he knows it’s against her principles.”

“What are ‘hippies’?”

Bruce shook his head. “I don’t know, Tony. I mean, yeah it makes more sense overall, but isn’t 13 a bit young to run away from home, even in the sixties?”

He shrugged. “Maybe not.”

“Well, what about her stuff? They dismissed the theory because she didn’t take anything,” Sam tried to reason.

“If her family was as straight laced and stuffy as the evidence suggests, why would she  _want_  to take anything?”

“Come on, Tony,” Steve rolled his eyes. “Not even a change of clothes?”

“FRIDAY, could you pull up a picture of 60s fashion for Cap.” He waited for Steve to get a good look before addressing him. “See that?”

“I see it. What’s wrong with it?”

“Nothing, really, if you’re a quiet, sweet girl who always listens to her parents… which we’ve just been informed our Flower  _wasn’t_. FRIDAY, now show us hippies.” He watched Steve’s eyes widen in awe.

“Wow… well, that’s different…”

“Precisely. So, why would she take anything if she meant to completely leave her old life behind?” His eyes sparkled with determination. “She already didn’t fit in at home, she wouldn’t have wanted to not fit in with her new companions, either.”

“So where does Hydra come into this?” Pietro jumped in.

“1973, like her file says. In ’73 she’d have been what, 22, 23? That’s how old she looks now.”

“Hold on,” Clint rubbed his eyes, trying to make sense of it. “So a 13 year old kid runs off, lives the hippie life for almost a decade, and then gets snatched by terrorists?”

“Yep.”

“Why though? Why her?” Wanda asked.

“Banner?”

He took off his glasses and sighed as he cleaned them. “I don’t have anything yet. Even though he knows I won’t hurt her, Barnes won’t let me near her as long as she’s scared.”

“I’ll talk to him,” Steve said. “Maybe he could get the samples for you, with your guidance.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

“No.”

“Buck, she needs to be looked at,” Steve pleaded. “We need to know she’s ok and healthy.”

“I won’t hurt her.”

“It’s just a medical exam. The results might tell us why Hydra took her.”

Bucky stopped walking and turned to face Steve, looking confused. “You still haven’t got into her files?”

He shook his head. “Do you remember anything else? About an ability or mutation they wanted to exploit?”

Bucky clenched his jaw and thought hard. Finally, he shook his head. “I don’t think so.”

“We have to know for certain. We need to know if she needs any treatments, if there’s something around that can harm her. There has to be a reason they enhanced her.”

Bucky exhaled hard and looked back toward his bedroom. “Ok,” he sighed defeatedly. “I’ll talk to her.”

The smile quickly fell from her face when she saw the way he hung his head when he entered their room.

“Bucky?” She ran to him, frowning when she saw his worried expression. “What’s wrong?”

“They want you to see the doctor.” His heart broke at the panicked look that flashed across her face. “It’s not about Fury. They’re worried about ya… and so am I.”

She a took a few calming breaths before asking, “Do you trust them?”

“Steve does, and I trust Steve.” She stayed quiet. “I um… I can do it, if you want. They can talk me through it and I-”

He was cut off by her kiss. Her soft hands caressed his cheeks and he felt himself melt into her. When she pulled away, she held his face in her hands. “No. I’ll let them do it.” She knew he’d hate himself if he so much as made her flinch. “Will you stay with me?”

“Of course, Sweet… heart…” He planted a gentle kiss on her forehead, suddenly feeling worse.

They walked out, hand in hand. Steve raised a brow in question that Bucky answered with a curt nod. He stood and led them down to the labs.

“Bruce, you busy?”

Bruce looked up then and saw Steve had Bucky and Y/N in tow. “No. What can I do for you?” he spoke in his most calming tone.

“Miss Flower is ready for her physical.” Steve took care not to use the word ‘exam’.

“Alright,” he smiled kindly. “Let me call the physician, and we’ll get this done so you can get back to what you were doing.”

“Do you want me to stay?” Steve asked, eyes flicking from Y/N to Bucky.

“Actually, I need you find Stark and Romanoff,” Bucky spoke uneasily. “Tell them to look for ‘Heart’. I uh, I think that’s what they called her…” He rubbed the back of his neck nervously before turning to her. “That sound right to you?”

She hadn’t been listening. Her eyes were glued to Bruce as he cleared a table in his lab for her exam. Steve and Bucky shared a look before Steve went off to relay the message.

Bruce explained every procedure as the doctor performed it to put them at ease. Y/N got worked up a few times, but they waited patiently for Bucky to talk her down before they continued. Bucky got close to losing control himself a couple of times when Y/N yelped in pain or her eyes went wide at the sight of some particularly frightening looking equipment. Sensing the danger, Bruce pulled the doctor behind him and waited for Y/N to jump in and calm him.

He led her back to their room and apologized profusely for making her go through with it, reminding her of the promise he made to never let her get hurt again.

“They did it to help me, not harm me. Please don’t be upset,” she cooed, cradling his head on her chest. “We’re alright.”

“How are you ok?” he strained. “Everything they did to you, you’re still here, smilin’ at me and telling me everything’s gonna be fine.”

She bent to kiss his head, his eyes fluttering at the sensation. “It’s because of you.”

The words were meant to be comforting, but they settled like a weight on his chest.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Everyone gathered when the doctor returned with Y/N’s results. The heaviness Bucky felt in the pit of his stomach only got worse, and he swallowed hard when she pulled his hand onto her lap. It was her exam, yet he was the one in need of comfort. He had a bad feeling before anyone had even spoken a word.

The doctor cleared his throat, looking around nervously at the room full of people. “So, aside from the strengthened cells of her body, there’s nothing different in her makeup.”

“What?!” nearly everyone in the room exclaimed.

“Are you sure?” Bruce took the file from his hands and began to look over the results.

“Very. She’s a healthy young woman. Enhanced, but otherwise normal.”

“Could whatever they gave her have affected a mutation if one was present?” Steve asked, still reeling from the information.

“If they’d done it today, maybe. With what they had in the 60s, not likely.” The doctor packed the rest of his things and headed for the door. “I triple ran the tests, by the way. She’s no mutant.”

He left and Sam looked to Y/N, stunned. “What did they want with you?” he asked rhetorically.

“Only place left to look are those files,” Natasha commented.

“Which are now being translated. And printed,” Tony added. “for the geezers who prefer hard copies.”

* * *

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Desperate for answers, Flower asks Wanda to help her recover her memories. Bucky’s torn between what he wants, and what’s best for her.

There was a restlessness in Bucky that didn’t escape anyone’s notice. He spent long hours at the gym, took more missions than any of the others, and he began to encourage Y/N to do things on her own. At first she was perplexed, then hurt that he seemed to be pushing her away, but when he explained that they both needed to rediscover who they were, she reluctantly agreed.

As a result, the others started spending time with her, and teaching her about various things she missed out on. Tony, still convinced his theory was correct, took it upon himself to show her the turn rock music took in the 70s and 80s, Sam began to teach her to cook, and Clint started a little vegetable garden with her. Natasha had asked her, loud enough for Bucky to hear, if she wanted to learn to shoot. She politely declined, but not before Bucky stormed out, slamming the door behind him.

The twins spent the most time with her. Being closer to her age than the others, they felt a special connection with her. They spent most of their time watching movies and playing games, hoping to capture something they all felt they missed out on as children.

“What can your power do, exactly?” she asked Wanda one day. “Could you pull my memories free?”

“I don’t know,” Wanda replied apprehensively. “The only time I’ve done anything that serious is when I tried removing the trigger words from Bucky. I was only able to remove two.”

“Would you be willing to try?” she asked hopefully. “Maybe I only need a tug. One memory to open the floodgates…”

“If you really want me to.” Wanda didn’t like it, but she wouldn’t deny her friend if she had her heart set on it.

“Please.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

_“You should sleep,” he murmured._

_“No.” She snuggled into him, pressing as much of her skin as she could to his. “I never get to keep you for long; I’m not wasting a moment with sleep. Especially if I don’t know when I’ll see you again.”_

_He brought her hand to his lips and placed kisses on her knuckles. “You know I want to stay, but I can’t risk being found with you.”_

_“I know. It doesn’t mean I don’t hate seeing you go.”_

_He pulled her on top of him, rubbing her back as she nuzzled into his neck. “One day, we’ll be able to leave; find somewhere quiet where they’d never find us. When the day comes they wouldn’t dare look for me, I’ll find you.”_

_“How can you be sure you’ll remember?” she voiced the thought that plagued her. “Every time I see you it takes you a while to recognize me.”_

_“But I do, don’t I?” He pulled away, lifting her chin so he could look into her eyes. “I promise, no matter how long it takes, I’ll remember, and I will come for you.”_

_They spent the night in each other’s arms, making every minute count. He would be gone before sunrise, leaving them both wondering in the back of their minds if this would be the last time they’d see each other._

_Making her way back to the camp, she crossed paths with two men conversing in hushed voices in a language she didn’t understand. She smiled and nodded a greeting, which they returned._

**“Is that the same girl from last time?”**   _one asked as she passed._

 _The other watched as she walked away._   **“Yes, it is.”**

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Bucky watched her from afar, being careful not to be seen. He missed her, and he knew she missed him, but the growing fear inside him kept him from getting too close.

“Hey,” Steve snapped him out of his thoughts, waving a thick folder in front of him. “These are all her files. I figured you’d want to look over them together before anyone else.”

“I,” he tried to speak, but the words got caught in his throat. “I can’t. I mean, I know I have to, to face whatever I’ve done to her, but I can’t.”

“Woah, hey,” he soothed at seeing the tears pool in his eyes. “You don’t know you’ve done anything. And if you had, I’m sure she’ll forgive you. She loves you more than anything.”

“Why?”

“Only she can answer that,” he smiled sympathetically.

“What if she can’t?” There was no hiding the panic he felt. “What if we find I did something awful to her, and she hates me?”

“Is that why you’ve been avoiding her?” Steve sighed when nodded. “Remind her who you are now. Stop hiding from her, and show her you adore her.”

“Steve?” Bucky called as he was walking away. “Could you look through it first? Let me know if I need to brace myself?”

Steve looked out the window toward the meadow, where Y/N and Wanda were talking. “Sure.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

_She was sitting by the campfire, her companions already asleep, when her attention turned to some rustling in the distance. Thinking it was a deer, she ignored it, until it began to get closer. She picked up her friend’s guitar, ready to make noise and scare the animal away, and froze at the sight before her. The soldier, her soldier, stepped onto the clearing, shirt covered in blood._

_She dropped the guitar and approached, slowing down when she saw him almost take a step back. He looked like he was trying to place her, knowing he knew her from somewhere._

_“Are you alright, Soldier?” she asked, confirming their acquaintance._

_“I heard you singing. You sound familiar.” His eyes scanned her face, still unsure. “Who are you?”_

_She looked away, hiding the sting in her heart. “I suppose I can’t blame you for forgetting. It has been a while.” She sighed and put on her best fake smile. “I’m Flower; we’ve met before. Are you hurt?”_

_He shook his head. “It’s not mine.” She sucked in a breath and took a step back. “Please don’t be afraid. I’m not going to hurt you.”_

_“Whose is it?” her voice trembled. “Why is it all over you?”_

_He stayed silent for a moment, fighting some internal battle she couldn’t imagine. “I have to go.”_

_The look on his face was similar to those of the soldiers who’ve returned from the war, and she realized maybe the blood wasn’t there because he wanted it. “Wait,” she pleaded, relief washing over her when he stopped. “Let me help you clean up; at least give you some clean clothes.”_

_After considering for a moment, he gave her a sharp nod, and she pull a few garments out of some bags in a vehicle parked nearby. She approached slowly, items in hand, waiting for him to relax._

_“Thank you.” His voice was low, seemingly still unsure about the girl._

_“Come on,” she smiled, reaching out and gently taking his hand. “There’s a lake over here you can clean up in.”_

_He allowed himself to be led away, and began undressing. While nudity didn’t faze her, she couldn’t help but let her eyes wander, and began to feel the beginnings of arousal. She gave him some oil and dried flowers to help with the blood smell, and debated whether or not she should try to join him._

_Watching him rub away the blood, she couldn’t resist and stripped. The sound of sloshing pulled his attention and he stilled, eyes glued to her approaching figure._

_“Need some help?” she purred, rubbing a bit of oil into some flowers._

_He swallowed hard and nodded, relaxing again as she massaged the mixture onto his back, and dropped to his knees as she worked her way to his scalp._

_He hummed at the pleasant sensation. “What is it?”_

_“Lavender and peppermint oil. Do you like it?”_

_“It’s nice. Can I do you after?” he asked shyly, hoping he hadn’t crossed a line._

_“Yeah,” she grinned. “That’d be nice.”_

_They took their time scrubbing each other clean, neither wanting the moment to end. Once it was done, the Soldier locked eyes with her and leaned in, brushing his lips over hers._

_“You shouldn’t be here with me,” he breathed, sending shivers down her body._

_“I’m not a little girl. I can decide for myself what I want, and I want this.” Her hands traveled up his chest, linking her arms around his neck and pulling her body flush with his._

_“It’s dangerous,” he warned one final time, wrapping his arms around her._

_“I know.” She closed the distance and connected her lips to his._

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Bucky just about had enough of everyone trying to tell him what to do. He’d known Y/N longer than any of them, yet they kept insisting he didn’t know what was best for her. This time, it was Natasha who came at him with her file, telling him to pull his head out of his ass and quit making Y/N miserable. Bucky wanted nothing more than to wrap her in his arms and never let her go, but it wouldn’t be good for her. Why couldn’t they see it?

“We’re not the same people we were when we fell in love,” he tried for a more reasonable approach. “What if whatever we had doesn’t hold up?”

Natasha thumbed the dossier. “I’ve been looking through this. It says you refused to harm her. No matter how many times they wiped you, you never forgot her. Not completely. They found her to be a distraction, and ordered you to kill her, but you never so much as left a bruise on her. Whatever you had, it was strong enough to overcome everything they did. That  _means_  something,” she stressed.

Bucky looked relieved for a second, but it was short lived. Relief was replaced with horror when he was hit with realization. “Was it because of me? Did they take her because I loved her? Because they could use her to control me?”

Natasha regarded him silently for a moment, following his gaze to the window as he watched her outside with Wanda. “Would you blame her? For being used to make you a more efficient killer?”

“Of course not!” he was beyond offended at the insinuation.

“Then don’t you dare blame yourself for what they did to her. I can already see it: you’d let it eat away at you, and in the end you  _will_  end up hurting her. Don’t go down that road, Barnes. People like us rarely get a shot at happiness. Yours is right outside. Don’t throw it away, or I’ll kick your ass again.” she ended lightly.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

_“Hello, Soldier,” she sighed, grinning widely at the man before her. He was even more handsome than she remembered._

_He sized her up and knew almost instantly she wasn’t a threat. She was cradling a large bouquet of wildflowers to hand out. Removing a bright red-orange one from the bunch, she offered it to him. His eyes raked over her, recognizing the book peeking out of her pocket, and stopped at her innocent, eerily familiar eyes._

_When he reached out to take the flower, the memory came flooding back. “You’re that flower girl…”_

_“Mmhm,” she smiled sweetly. “It’s been a while, huh? How are you?”_

_He looked even more confused by the question, and chose to ignore it in the end, taking in his surroundings instead. She noticed he didn’t look too pleased with the amount of people around, and offered to take him somewhere quiet._

_She led him to brook, promptly perching herself on a rock and dipping her feet in. He approached slowly when she patted the spot beside her, removing his boots to follow her example._

_They sat in silence, making the Soldier relax, even when she stole glances at him. She held his attention as well, looking as if he was trying to sort through his clouded mind trying to find all traces of her. He must have remembered something, because he went to his equipment bag and began to tear at a seam, inspecting a folded sheet he’d pulled out._

_“Can I ask you something?” he asked suddenly._

_“Sure.”_

_“This is you, isn’t it?” he handed her the paper, retaking the seat beside her._

_She opened the missing person poster and gasped. “Where did you get this?”_

_“Back east, I think. Not sure when, though… or why I kept it.”_

_“Please, you can’t turn me in,” her words spilled in a panic._

_“Ok.” He said it as if he hadn’t intended to, but he still looked guilty for scaring her into thinking it._

_“What?” She searched his face for any trace of deceit. “Just like that?”_

_“Yeah.”_

_She smiled gratefully, and her uneasiness melted away. “May I?” she gestured to the flowers and eyeing his soft looking locks._

_He nodded, smiling at her enthusiasm. She gave her fingers a quick run through it to release any tangles, making him shiver at the gentle contact. “Will you tell me why you don’t want to go home?”_

_She shrugged, securing the first flower. “There’s nothing for me to go back to.”_

_“No family?”_

_“My brothers left as soon as they could. Grandparents are gone, too.”_

_“And your mother and father?”_

_“My old man’s controlling, and my ma thinks marrying the richest cat who’ll have her is all a girl needs to be happy. My sister bought into it and let them chose a husband for her. Crazy, right?” She released a shaky breath. “Anyway, they were about to send me off to some school for wayward girls. Either way I wouldn’t be home. At least here, I’m free.”_

_“Free…” he repeated softly. “Sounds nice.”_

_“It is,” she paused, slightly worried by the longing in his eyes. “You know, you can always come with us. We never stay in one place too long; if being found is a concern…”_

_He took her hand, smiling at her kind offer. “Thank you, but I can’t.”_

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Bucky was in the conference room, barely choking back sobs in front of his teammates, the contents of her file spread out on the table. His worst fears were confirmed: it was his fault they’d taken her. He put her on Hydra’s radar. He ruined her life. They enhanced her for him. To survive cryo  _FOR HIM._

“I don’t know what to do,” he croaked.

“What do you mean?” Pietro asked.

“I can’t be with her,” he gripped the table tightly, trying to keep his composure. “How do I let her go? How do I tell her it’s my fault?”

“Woah woah,” Bruce took the seat beside him. “I know you haven’t talked to her, but nothing I’ve seen indicates she wants to be anywhere but by your side.”

“She misses you, Bucky,” Wanda offered. “So much.”

“I can’t,” he whimpered. “I don’t deserve her.”

“Why don’t you let her decide?” Pietro

“Aren’t you listening?! They took her because I made her mine!” He broke down, shouts reducing to soft cries. “Because I chose her.”

“Is that what you think?”

Everyone spun toward the door where Y/N now stood, eyes brimming with tears.

“Flower, please…” Bucky sobbed.

“No! Why do you do this to yourself?” she demanded. “You didn’t do anything!”

“You’d have been safe if it weren’t for me.”

“Wanda, can you project my thoughts?”

“I can try,” she strode up beside her, her uneasiness forgotten in her friend’s time of need.

“Bucky, relax. Please, pay attention,” she urged.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

_It’d been four months since she left everything behind. Four months of cramped car rides and performing on the streets to afford their next stop, but she didn’t regret it. After spending another night under the stars, she set out to find something pretty for the pages of her grandfather’s old book. Walking through the trees just beyond the road, she relished the feel of moss beneath her feet, and the way her soft, flowy clothes barely kissed her skin; a stark contrast to the horrible, itchy wool things her mother would parade her around in._

_She found a clearing with flowers in full bloom and ran out, not seeing the man sat on a motor bike to her left._

_“What are you doing?” he asked rather harshly, making her start._

_“Oh! I’m sorry if I’ve disturbed you,” she said. “I only came to look for flowers.”_

_The man gave her a hard stare, and relaxed after a moment. “You shouldn’t be here.”_

_“I won’t be long,” she assured. “I only need a few.” She caught herself staring into his eyes, and shyly broke contact. “Is that a Thunderbird?” she asked excitedly, approaching to get a closer look at the bike, and frowned slightly when she saw him stiffen. “My brother has one,” she offered as explanation._

_“Are you out here alone?” He ignored her, wondering what a young girl was doing so far from the nearest town._

_The question normally would have made her take a step back, but she found herself lost in his eyes again. “No.”_

_“You should pick your flowers and go then, before they come looking.”_

_It would be hours before any of the others woke, but she turned and began to walk around, looking for the perfect ones. Feeling eyes on her, she turned back to the stranger and found him watching her curiously. Her eye caught a small patch of a light, silvery blue, and she immediately began to pull a few. She opened her book, and placed one neatly inside before closing it and running toward the man on the bike._

_“Look!” she held the others she picked out to him. “These match your eyes.”_

_His gaze trailed down to her hand, and the corners of his mouth quirked. “You picked these for me?”_

_“Yeah,” she looked at the ground bashfully. She caught a flash of something shiny under the sleeve of his jacket as he reached for them, but didn’t draw attention to it._

_“Thank you,” he smiled, filling her stomach with a warm, fluttery feeling._

_She returned to her task, wanting to find at least two more flowers for her book, and not wanting to leave the man. She found another she wanted to keep, and pressed it into the same page as the blue one._

_“Little flower girl?” the man called. “What’s your name?”_

_Her new friends had encouraged her to drop her given name and pick one she felt suited her. She liked the idea, but had yet to find anything she liked. “I haven’t thought of one yet.”_

_He found her answer amusing, and chuckled. “What do I call you in the meantime, then?”_

_“Little flower girl’s not so bad.” She grinned widely, happy she’d made him laugh. “How about you?”_

_“They call me the Soldier…” The noise of an approaching engine down the road caught his attention. “I have to go. Nice meeting you.” He gave her a soft smile, starting the bike and speeding off, leaving her completely besotted._

_It would be three years until something shiny caught her eye, and her heart swelled at seeing dreamy, silvery blue eyes just outside the tree line. “Soldier,” she gasped. Blind to the others around her, she let her feet carry her toward the man she’d been dreaming about every day since their first meeting, desperately hoping their paths crossed again._

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

“What?” he whispered, no longer holding back his tears.

“Do you see?” She held his cheeks, making him look into her eyes. “ _I_  chose you.  _I_  made you mine. And you know what? I’d do it again.”

“Why?” He couldn’t make sense of it. “Everything they did to you…”

“You got us away, just like you promised.” She firmly pressed her lips to his, reaffirming Bruce’s earlier statement. “I still want this. I’ve  _always_  wanted it.”

He gaped at her, not believing his ears. She chose  _him_. She still wanted  _him_. “Are you sure?” he asked, giving her one last chance to back out. She responded by pulling him into another kiss.

Steve quietly ushered everyone out, giving them some privacy.

“I’m glad that’s over with,” Natasha sighed. “I was this close to kicking his ass.”

“Yeah, whatever,” Tony cut in. “Did you see what she showed him?” he asked Wanda.

“I did,” she nodded slowly. “but telling you would betray their trust.”

“Fair enough. But tell us, was I right? Was she a hippie?” He bit his lip in anticipation.

Wanda rolled her eyes. “Yes, you were right. About everything.”

“HA! Told you!” he clapped, and everyone else groaned and began to disperse. “I’m a genius! The flower child and her soldier. Wow.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

“Much better,” Pietro grinned down at her before extending a hand to help her up.

The others had convinced her to train, at least so she could defend herself should the need arise. She was easier to sway than Bucky was, but he relented when he remembered he couldn’t always be with her to protect her. Everyone took it upon themselves to help her, and today, it was Pietro’s turn.

“Miss Flower, Sergeant Barnes will be arriving shortly,” FRIDAY chimed.

She gasped and ran for the door. Pietro yelled that she hadn’t finished for the day before speeding past her, challenging her to a race. Of course he beat her, but her pout was quickly replaced with a smile as Bucky descended from the jet.

“Bucky!” she called, making a run for his waiting arms. He swept her up and kissed her as hungrily as he always had. “I missed you. Are you hurt?”

“No,” he grinned, giving her a small bouquet. “but I do have a surprise for you.” He set her down and gestured to Steve to give him something. He placed something in his palm, both laughing at her trying to get a better look. “I found this.”

She stared slack jawed at the book in his palm. “Is that my grandfather’s book?” She took it carefully, opening it to find pages and pages filled with perfectly pressed flowers. “I thought…”

“I know,” he soothed, pulling her close. “Come on, let’s go so you can patch me up.”

“You said you weren’t hurt!” she accused, searching his body for injuries.

“No,” he smirked. “but that doesn’t mean you can’t play nur-  _what the hell is this?_ ” He lifted her arm, pointing out a scabbing cut. He immediately sent Pietro a death glare. “Did you do this to her?”

“Bucky,” she warned.

“I, uh, what? No, I… training is done for today!” he shouted, zipping away before Bucky could grab him.

“I’m gonna kill him,” he ground out.

“No you’re not. I’m fine, it was an accident,” she assured. “You know he didn’t mean to.”

Bucky took a deep breath, calming himself. Steve chuckled, giving him a gentle pat on the shoulder before leaving the hangar.

“I’m ok,” he breathed after a moment, giving her a serene smile. “Let’s go see if there are any blank pages left in that thing.”

He took her hand and led her out, making his way toward their room, ready to celebrate a successful mission the way they always had.

* * *

 


End file.
